it's been so long..

          random thoughts... 

         school.. school.. and more school...

          how long till i'm done?  I dunno.

          We all started from the same high school, area, city, etc.. and now we are all going about our own ways.  Yes very sad indeed. 

           I'm 21 now and I feel really old, there's no more ages to look forward to!

I want a HUG now!

          and a vacation would be nice =)

Edit:  I am boycotted from my facebook...  >.<  apparently I use it too much.  Rob boycotted me. 

Dear Grandma,

            I know that you are in a better place.  I'm just sorry I wasn't able to be there to see you leave.  I'm sorry that I wasn't a good grandaughter, I wish I had called you more, I wish I would have wrote you letters none stop, I wish I was able to come back to see you more often, I wish I could have brought you tea and cooked meals every day.  I want to see your face so bad, I want to see your smile, I want you to hug me and squeeze me like you always do, I want you to see you in your flower printed clothes with your little grocery money bag.  I close my eyes and I can see you grandma, but I what I really want is to feel you, I want to be able to touch your skin and know that you are there.  Did you really have to go so soon so sudden?  Grandma, I wasn't able to tell you how much I love you before you left, and now I don't have a chance.  I love you grandma, I stare at the wall and all i see is you, all I see is how stupid I am.  I wish I could see you one more time, but i know no matter how much I cry you will never come back.  I'm still going to china this summer grandma, even though you are not there anymore, I am going, I will come to your grave and mourn, I will cry out tears until i can't cry anymore, I miss you grandma.  I really really really miss you.

                                                                         your grandaughter, Lisa

I feel sick and miserable. =)

       alls well though